Aussie Jeds
Joke Archive 2

1.
A masked man walks into a sperm bank, points a gun at the
woman behind the counter and shouts, "open the safe!"
"But this is not a real bank!" the woman replies "it's a "sperm" bank."
"Open the safe or I'll shoot!" the man shouts.
The woman, now terrified, opens the safe.
"Now take one of the bottles and drink it.", he says.
"But sir, these are sperm samples!" the woman replies.
"Just drink it or I'll shoot!"
The woman opens the bottle and drinks the lot. "Now take
another bottle and drink it."
"But sir, I just drank one!"
"Drink another one or I'll shoot you!"
The woman has no alternative and drinks a second bottle.
When she has emptied it the man now takes off his mask and
the woman is surprised to see the robber is her husband.
"Now you see, Honey", he says, "it isn't so difficult, is it?"

2.
Two children, one white and the other a black kid die and are standing at
the Pearly Gates when they are both approached by St Peter.
St Peter looks at the white kid and says "Come into heaven, and go to the first
door to the right and pick up your wings"
The white kid looks up excitedly and say's "Does this mean I'm an angel?"
and St Peter smiles and says yes.
St Peter then stands in front of the black kid, and rudely says "Get in, go to the
first door on the left, pick up your wings and report directly back to me!"
With that, the black kids eyes lit up, and says to St Peter "Does that mean I'm an angel?"
St Peter say's "No… you’re a blowfly!"

3.
Mum walked into the bathroom one day and found
young Johnny furiously scrubbing his dick with a
toothbrush and toothpaste.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, young
man?!" she exclaimed.
"Don't try to stop me!" Johnny warned. "I'm gonna
do this three times a day, because there's no way I'm
gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as my
sister's."

4.
Two blokes were out walking home from work one afternoon.
"Shit," said the first bloke, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the
wife's knickers off!"
"What's the rush?" his mate asked.
"The bloody elastic in the legs is killing me," the bloke replied.

5.
A farmer who's been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended
up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.
"I understand you're claiming damages for the injuries you're supposed to
have suffered?" Stated the counsel for the insurance company.
"Yes, that's right," replied the farmer, nodding his head.
"You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that
says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied,
'I've never felt better inn my life.' Is that the case?"
"Yeah, but…" stammered the farmer.
"A simple yes or not will suffice," counsel interrupted quickly.
"Yes," Replied the farmer.
Then it was the turn of the farmer's counsel to ask him questions.
"Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when
you made your statement of health," his lawyer said.
"Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around
with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along,
takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead.
"Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come
straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling.
"Now, mate, what the hell would you have said to him?"

6.
There was this hooker named Judi who mistook a Salvation
Army man for a soldier and propositioned him.
The Salvation Army gent said, "Ma'am, you may be forgiven,
as a pitiable victim of circumstances. Tell me, are you
familiar with the concept of 'original sin'?"
Judi replied, "Well, maybe and maybe not. But if it's "really"
original, it'll cost you an extra $20."

7.
An old bloke in the nursing home couldn't talk. One day, while he was sitting in a chair,
a nurse walked by and noticed that he was leaning to the right. She sat him upright in his
chair and told him to sit still. A while later, the nurse came by again, and this time she
noticed that he was leaning to the left. She straightened him up and told him again to
sit still, or else he might fall out of his chair. The next time she made her rounds, she saw
the old guy leaning forward, about to topple headfirst to the floor, so she tied him into
the chair for his own good.
Later on in the day, his daughter came to visit, and seeing her father strapped into his
chair, asked him what was wrong. The old bloke handed her a note, which she unfolded
and read.
It said, "They won't let me fart."

8.
Melissa was toweling off in front of the mirror when she
noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her
privates... "I know you haven't been getting much lately...but I
didn't know you were so worried about it!"

9.
A bloke who's just reached his 150^th birthday was giving a press conference to the
assembled media.
"Excuse me, sir," on of the reporters said, "but how did you come to live to 150?
"It's actually quite simple," the old bloke replied. "I just never argue."
"That's impossible," the reporter responded. "Here must be something else, like diet,
or meditation, or something. Just not bloody arguing won't keep you alive for 150 years!"
The old bloke stared hard at the reporter for several seconds.
"Hmmm," he finally shrugged, "maybe you're right."

10.
A little girl was licking a lollipop at a hairdressers a drops it into a heap of cut hair lying
on the floor, the hairdresser says to her: Oh, "have you got hair on your lollipop"?
"No", answers the little girl, "I'm only three."

11.
Two mates were in a pool hall on day, shooting a game of
eight - ball, when a funeral procession passed by outside.
Seeing the hearse, one bloke laid down his cue, put his hand
over his heart and stood solemnly as the procession passed
by. The other bloke was touched by this gesture of respect
and said so.
"Oh, it's the least I could do, mate." the bloke replied. "In five
more days, we would've been married twenty years.

12.
A little boy asked his mother, "Mummy, am I descended from
a monkey?"
The mother replied, "I don't know, son, I never met your father's
folks."

13.
THERE are three stages on sex in every relationship, and here they are":
Anywhere sex - when you first meet you do it anywhere.
Bedroom sex - After the kids are asleep you have it in the bedroom.
Hallway sex - You pass each other in the hall and say, "Fuck you!"

14.
Two prisoners were having a chat.
The first one said. "I've go two tickets for the warden's ball, Do you want to buy one?"
"No thanks, mate," said the second guy. "I can't dance."
"It's not a dance, mate," said the first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"

15.
The suspicious bloke burst into the bedroom and caught
his wife humping another man. "I demand to know what's
going on here!" he yelled.
Turning to her lover, his ol' lady said, :See? I told you he's
a real moron."

16.
"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle. "I'm sure you'll look back and
remember today as the happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." Protested his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."

17.
A bloke walks into a chemist and asks for a packet of condoms.
"I'm afraid I can only sell them to you if you're married." The chemist says.
"Well, I am, "replies the bloke.
"You'll have to prove it," says the chemist.
So The bloke rushes back home, gets his marriage certificate, shows it to the chemist
and finally gets his condoms.
A few days later, the same bloke goes back to the same chemist to get some flea
powder for his dog.
"Got a dog license?" the chemist asks.
The bloke reluctantly trudges home in a rage and gets the dog licence and is finally
handed his flea powder.
The next day he's back in the shop and hands the chemist a screw-top-jar.
"Here, smell this," he tells the chemist.
"The chemist unscrews the lid and takes a whiff.
"Shit!" cries the chemist, wrinkling his nose.
"Correct," says the bloke. "Now two rolls of toilet paper, thanks."

18.
This guy was on a hot date, and after well and truly fucking this
sweet thing, she turned to the guy and said,
"Wasn't it a bit presumptuous to think I would let you fuck me on
the first date?"
To which the bloke responded, "Presumptuous, now that's a big word
for a first grader!"

19.
Two old men suffering from long term memory loss were sitting on the steps of
the old-age home when an ice cream van drove past.
"Gee," said the first old codger. "I'd love an ice cream right now."
"Would you like me to get you one?" asked the second old bloke.
"Are you joking?" the first old fart snapped back. "You'd forget my order straight away."
"No I wouldn't," replied the second."
"All right, then," said his mate. "I want a double cone with mint ice cream and choc chips,
and a cherry on top."
The second old bloke repeated the order flawlessly. Five minutes later he walked
back carrying two meat pies.
The first old bloke looked at the pies in disgust then yelled, "I knew I should've gon
myself. You forgot the bloody sauce!"

20.
Poor little Johnny had been blind from birth. One night,
before he went to bed, his mother told him that the next day
was very special. She told him that if he prayed very hard
to god, he'd be able to see when he woke up. Johnny was
very excited and prayed very hard for two hours.
The next morning, Johnny's mum came into his room. She
smiled at her son and said. "Wake up Johnny. Open your
eyes and all of your prayers will be answered!"
Johnny opened his eyes and started screaming. "Mother!
mother! I still can't see!"
"I know darling." said his mother. "April Fool!"

21.
Two pro's in King Cross were talking about how rough times were.
One said, "You know times are so bad that I did a trick last night
for five measly bucks just so I'd have the taxi fare home."
"Huh!" scoffed the other. "I gave away a headjob last night just
to get something warm in my stomach!"

22.
This poor bloke went to hospital for a circumcision but, because of some fuck
up during the operation, he ended up having a complete sex change.
All the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up
so they could give him the bad news.
Naturally, the poor bloke went to pieces and started crying when they explained
what had happened to him.
"Shit!" he moaned. "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection
ever again!"
"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed.
It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."

23.
"Get this." said the bloke to his mates, "Last night while I was
down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.
"Did he get anything." his mates asked.
"yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts.
The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

24.
Donald Duck walked into a chemist & asked for a packet
of condoms.
"Certainly, Sir" said the lady behind the counter, "& shall I
put them on your bill"
"NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am,
a Dickhead?"

25.
A bloke comes home to find that his wife is packing her
suitcase. "What are you doing?" he asks.
"I'm leaving you" she sobbed. "I heard that you are a paedophile".
"Hell", he said. "That's a big word for a five year old".

26.
These two cannibals were sitting around having
a chat after a particularly good meal.
"Shit," said one cannible. "Your wife makes one
hell of a baked dinner!"
"Yeah," the other cannibal nodded.
"I'm really gonna miss the old girl."

27.
Today Yahoo was purchased by Netscape. The new company
will be relocating to Tel Aviv. The new company will be
called "Net & Yahoo".

28.
The World Health Organisation asked each country to do a study to work
out the function of the knob on the end of the penis.
French politicians contributed $2 million and concluded that the knob existed to
please women during sex.
Russians politicians contributed $1 million and found that the knob was for male pleasure.
The Australia's politicians would only cough up $2.50 and did the study themselves.
They decided the function of the knob was to stop their hands slipping off!

29.
Two blokes were walking along a road in Queensland when they were struck by
a police car driven by a drunken cop.
One bloke was thrown through the windscreen and his mate was knocked down
an embankment.
The first bloke was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving
the scene of an accident.

30.
A deaf - mute nervously approached the chemist
shop counter to buy some condoms.
He opened his fly, placed his cock on the counter,
pointed to it and laid $5 next to it.
With an understanding nod, the pharmacist whipped
out his cock, laid it beside the other man's, grinned
in triumph, took the cash and walked away.

31.
A bloke applied for a job at the local council buy failed the medical because
he didn't have any balls.
Finally, he managed to convince the doctor and his boss that it wouldn't make any
difference to how he worked.
"OK," said the boss. "You can take the job. But just one thing, you have to start
at 8 am."
"Why?" asked the bloke. "Everyone else starts at 7.30."
"Yeah," replied the boss. "But they stand around scratching their balls for half and hour!"

32.
Having determined that the husband was infertile, a childless couple decided to try
artificial insemination.
When the woman showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress, get up on the
table and place her feet in the stirrups.
She was feeling very comfortable about the whole situation and when the doctor
started dropping his pants, she freaked.
"Wait a second! What the hell is going on here?" she yelled.
"Don't you want to get pregnant?" asked the doctor.
"Well, yes, but…" stammered the woman.
"Well lie back and spread 'em," replied the doctor.
"Were out of the bottled stuff, so you'll just have to settle for what's on tap."

33.
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!"
boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!"
counted the second boy.
"That's nothing," piped up the third. "My dad
can blow smoke through his arse. I know, 'cos I've
seen the nicotine stains on his undies."

34.
A guy with three eyes, no arms, and one leg is hitchhiking.
A British guy pulls over, rolls down the window, and says,
"Aye, aye, aye! You look 'armless! 'op in!"

35.
A truck driver pulled over to the side of the road and picked up two homosexuals
who were hitchhiking.
They climbed into the cab and the truck driver pulled the rig back onto the highway.
A few minutes later, the first fag said. "Excuse me, but I have to fart." He held his breath,
then the truck driver heard a low "Hsssssss."
A few miles down the road, the second fag announced, "Excuse me, but I have to fart."
The announcement was followed by another low "Hsssssss."
"Jesus Fuckin Christ!" the truckie exclaimed. "You fairies can't even fart like men. Listen
to this." A moment later he emitted a deafening staccato machine gun burst from his arse.
"Ohhh!" one fag exclaimed, turning to the other. "You know what we have here, Bruce?
A real virgin"

36.
A horny bloke and a hot chick met at a singles' resort and immediately fell in love and
quickly got down to business.
"Before we go any further, there's one thing I should admit," said the bloke. "I'm a
golfaholic. I play every weekend, all year round."
"Thanks for being so honest," the chick replied. "Because there's something I should
tell you too - I'm a hooker!"
"Don't worry too much," the bloke replied. "Just remember to keep your backswing
smooth and your wrists straight!"

37.
A Black priest and a white priest were arguing about what
colour God was.
The argument was getting heated when one of their parishioners
suggested they hold a combined prayer meeting and ask god.
"Tell us, oh God," they chanted. "If your holy presence could be
considered black or white!"
There was a pause and a great voice filled the church and said,
"I am what I am!"
"Told you so!" said the white preacher.
"What do you mean?" asked the black priest.
"Well," replied the white priest. "If god was black he'd have said,
I is what I is, man!"

38.
There were women waiting in a doctor's office.
They started talking and one woman said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was
on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so
I'm going to have another girl."
One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top."
The last lady started to cry.
The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying?"
She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!"

39.
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods
one day, on her way to Grandma's house, when all of a
sudden the Big Bad Wolf leapt out from behind a tree.
To make matters worse, The Big Bad Wolf had a six - inch
blade in his hand and a nine inch bulge in his pants. "Get
those scarlet bloomers off, Little Red Riding Hood," the wolf
snarled. "I'm going to fuck you!"
But before he could bat an eyelid, Little Red had drawn a
.44 magnum out of her basket, and pointed it at the Wolfs
balls. "Sorry to disappoint you, Wolf," she said, "but now
you're going to eat me, just like the story says."

40.
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through
the woods on her way to visit her grandmother,
when suddenly The Big Bad Wolf jumped out
from behind a tree.
"Ah-ha....," The Big Bad Wolf said,
"Now I've got you and I'm going to
eat you!"
"EAT! EAT! EAT!..."
Little Red Riding Hood said angrily,
"Damn it, doesn't anybody fuck anymore?"

41.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some
olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then
he jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows
it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table whole!", says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the
little bugger. I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his
bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a
drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking
his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up
his arse, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks.
"Now what?", responds the bloke.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his arse, then pulled it out and ate it!", says
the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

42.
An old bloke knocked on the door of a local brothel.
"What can I do for you, old mate?" asked the madam who opened the door.
"I want a girl," the old bloke replied,
"For you it'll cost $100," she said.
"You're putting me on!" the old bloke exclaimed.
"Nah," the madam replied. "That'll cost an extra $10!"

43.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Wilma
Wilma Who?
Wilma fingers do until I get my cock out?

44.
Pilot to tower... pilot to tower... I am 300 miles from land...
600 feet above water... and running out of fuel... please instruct!
Tower to pilot... tower to pilot... repeat after me: "Our Father,
who art in heaven..."

45.
Little Johnny was in the toilets at school having a piss. Another boy entered
the toilet and also started to piss.
The other boy says "Hey Johnny, your dick is bigger than mine," to which
little Johnny replies "That's nothing, my father has 2 dicks!"
The other boy replies "That's not possible!" But little Johnny says it is and that
he has seen them. The other boy says "Oh yeah, what do they look like," to which
little Johnny replies "One is small and wrinkly and he uses it for weeing, the other is
long and stiff and he uses it for brushing mum's teeth."

46.
A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing
a neck brace.
He sat down and asked his mate what happened.
"Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend.
"Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too.
"Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed
that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to
it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the chick and said,
'Lady, does this look like yours?' And the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!"

47.
A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and
asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami.
"Would you like it sliced, sir?" the shopkeeper
asked politely.
"What do you think I am?" replied the fag, "...a money box!"

48.
The pastor of the church was speaking a few words
on proper conduct to the Sunday school class.
"Willy," he said to a model little boy in the front
row, "Do you know where little boys and girls
go when they do bad things?"
"Sure," Willy said, "Back of the church yard."

49.
St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up.
"Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.
In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and God
tells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.
St Peter takes his leave.
5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone".
God says "the Abo's? Good".
and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".

50.
A lady was doing her spring cleaning in her 12^th floor apartment. She was just
shaking out a rug on her balcony when a strong gust of wind caught the rug and
carried her over the edge.
As she was falling, a bloke reached out of the eighth floor window and caught her.
"Do you fuck?" the bloke asked.
"No, of course I don't!" the woman replied, so the bloke dropped her.
As she hurtled past the fifth floor, another bloke caught her.
"Do you suck?" he asked.
"Definitely not!" the woman replied angrily, so the bloke also dropped her.
As she approached the earth, she prayed to god to give her another chance
at life.
As she plummeted past the second floor a third bloke miraculously caught her.
"I fuck!, I suck!" the woman screamed in a frenzy of fear.
"Dirty slut," the bloke said, and let her go.

51.
This bloke walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a meal. Two girls come
in and sit at a table near him.
"Waiter," says the bloke. "A bottle of your finest wine for my two friends here."
"Look mate," replied the waiter. "They're lesbians. You won't get anywhere with them."
The bloke insisted on the wine and the waiter shrugs and says, "It's your bloody money
but I warned you."
One of the girls comes over to his table and thanks him for the wine.
"That's OK," he replies. "Anything for you two beautiful girls."
"Right," she says. "So do you fancy my friend?"
"I sure do," he replies.
"Would you like to smell her pussy?" she asks.
"Yeah," he gasps "You bet!"
So she breathed on him!

52.
A faggot had just learned that his lover had died, and he went to the hospital to say
a last farewell.
As the doctor followed him to where they kept the corpse, the faggot said:
"Could I please take him home with me?"
"Why do you want to do that?"
"I want to cook him and eat him afterwards."
"That's disgusting, what on earth do you want to do that for?"
"I want to feel him glide out of me one last time..."

53.
There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put
his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy
do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what
the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and
listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient
and said, "I don't hear anything."
The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

54.
There's a little boy standing on a corner pulling himself
and a copper comes along and says, "What are you doing,
little boy?"
"Fuckin' nothing,"
replied the boy.

55.
A bloke was fucking his girlfriend in a park
by the side of the rode when a cop car pulled up.
"Just what do you think your doing?" asked the cop.
The bloke looked up at the cop and replied, "I'm
fucking my girlfriend!"
"Great!" says the cop. "I'm next then!"
"Sounds good to me." says the bloke.
"I've never fucked a cop before!"

56.
Two vomits are walking down the street when
one of them starts crying.
"What's wrong?" asks the other vomit.
"Ooh, this is the neighborhood I was brought up in"

57.
Tommy, Johnny and Harry were standing around bullshitting
about how tough their fathers were.
"My dad went 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.
Lick that" , said young Harry.
"Well, my dad did two tours of Vietnam and killed 19 gooks.
so lick that!" Tommy said.
"That's fuck all!" declared little Johnny.
"My dad hasn't wiped his arse in 10 years.
so lick that!"

58.
When Joe's wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got
so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist.
Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, "Life isn't worth living. I think
I'm gonna top myself."
"Don't be stupid, Joe," said the psychiatrist. "My wife ran off and left me too, yet
I'm happy."
"How?" asked Joe.
"Easy," replied the quack. "I threw myself into my work. I totally submerged myself
in my job and soon forgot her. By the way, Joe, what work do you do?"
"I clean out septic tanks." Joe replied.

59.
A doctor was transferred to a very tough Australian commando base. On this first
day three soldiers turned up to see him.
The first marched in and snapped to attention.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doc.
"I've got piles sir!" shouted soldier.
"How have you been treating them?" asked the doctor as he examined the soldier.
"I've been rubbing my arse with a wire brush until it bleeds, Sir!" replied the commando.
The doctor then asked the soldier about his main ambitions in life.
"I want to kill more enemies, sir!" he replied.
The doctor was amazed that a soldier in so much pain just wanted to do his duty.
The second soldier marched in and told the doctor he had gonorrhea.
"How have you been treating it until now?" asked the doctor.
"I've been rubbing the end of my prick with a wire brush until it bleeds, sir!"
The doctor then asked him about his ambition in life.
"To kill more enemies, sir!" the soldier replied.
Again the doctor was amazed about the pain threshold of the soldiers.
Finally, the third soldier walked in and the doctor asked him about his problem.
"I've got ulcerated gums, sir!" the soldier bellowed.
"And how are you treating them?" asked the doctor.
"I've been rubbing my gums with a wire brush until they bleed, sir!" replied the soldier.
"And what's your ambition in life?" asked the doctor.
"To be the first to use the wire brush, sir!"

60.
A fireman come home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a
wonderful system at work. At Bell 1 we all put our coats on. At Bell 2 we all slide
down the pole, and when Bell 3 rings we're in the truck and ready to go.
"From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say 'Bell 1', you'll
strip naked. When I shout Bell 2, you're going to jump into bed. And when I say 'Bell 3',
were going to fuck all night long."
The next night he returned home from work as horny as all hell.
"Bell 1!" he yelled, and his wife tore her clothes off.
"Bell 2!" he screamed, and she leapt into bed.
"Bell 3!" he hollered and, jumping on top of her, began fucking her like there was
no tomorrow.
After only a few minutes, his wife started yelling, "Bell 4!, Bell 4!, Bell 4!"
"Eh? He said, stunned. "What the fuck is Bell 4?"
"More hose!, More hose!" she replied. "You ain't nowhere near the fire!"

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