Aussie Jeds
Joke Archive 3

1.
This 80 year old woman thought she had the crabs, so she goes to the doctor.
"Doctor I think I have the crabs."
"When was the last time you had sex?" The doctor asks.
"I have never had sex. I'm still a virgin." she replied.
The doctor thought this was very strange so he told her to get on the table
and he would examine her. After the examination he said, "I have some good
news and bad news for you. The good news is you don't have the crabs. The
bad news is you've got fruit flies. Your cherry rotted."

2.
St. Peter meets Mother Theresa at the Gates Of Heaven and
says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo."
Mother Theresa is walking around Heaven when she sees
Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo.
Mother Theresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I
spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly.
Princess Di did no where near the amount of charitable work I
did. Why does she have a bigger halo?"
St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."

3.
A small boy was standing at a bus stop with a large basket. A few minutes passed,
and a bus pulled up and stopped, letting the boy on. When the kid found an empty
seat, he placed the large basket above in the overhead luggage rack and sat down
next to an old man reading a newspaper.
About two kilometers down the road, the old man felt a drop of something hit his
forehead, and it ran down the side of his nose and into his mouth. The man stuck out
his tongue to get a better taste as another drop splashed on his head. He licked at it,
trying to figure out what it tasted like. Unable to work out what it was, he turned to
the little boy and asked, "Pickles?"
"No," the boy replied. "Puppies."

4.
Two white men and an Aborigine were in prison together. One of the whites
said he was in for ten years for attempted rape, but thought himself lucky he
hadn't actually done the rape or he would be in for twenty years.
The other white said he was in for fifteen years for attempted murder, but was
lucky his victim had lived, or he would be doing life.
The Aborigine then said he was in for twenty-five years for riding his bike
without a light, but reckoned he was lucky it wasn't night time.

5.
This guy wakes up one morning and, as usual, goes to his living
room and pulls up the shade covering his picture window. As he starts
to turn he sees a large gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not
knowing what to do, he calls 000. The operator tells him that there is
a city wide hunt going on for this gorilla, and that a special team
will be sent right over to retrieve it.
Twenty minutes later a van pulls up in front of his house and a
man comes running up to the door. The guy answers the door and points
the gorilla out to the man.
The man says, "I'm gonna need your help to capture this big gorilla!"
The guy says, "What the hell am I gonna do?"
The man takes him out to his van and opens the back door. He takes out
a pair of hand cuffs, a bulldog and a shot gun. "Here's what we're
gonna do. I'll climb up in the tree and start shaking the limbs until
the gorilla falls out. When he hits the ground, that bulldog is gonna
bite him on the balls, then the gorilla is gonna throw his hands up in
the air and all you gotta do is snap the hand cuffs on him and we got him."
"Ok, sounds easy enough, but," says the guy. "what is that shotgun for?"
"Oh yeah", says the man. "If I fall out of the tree first, shoot the dog!"

6.
"Who will give the bride away?" asked the preacher.
"I could," came a voice from the back of the church,
"but I'm keeping my mouth shut."

7.
Paddy the Irishman saw a newspaper ad for a $10 river cruise.
So he went out to the jetty, where he saw a bloke with a baseball
bat and a coil of rope.
"I'm here for the river cruise", Paddy said, handing him the ten bucks.
The bloke took the money then smacked Paddy over the ear with the bat.
Next thing Paddy knew, he was floating down the river tied to a log.
Then he spotted his brother Mick, who was also tied to a log and floating
downstream.
"Hey, Mick!" Paddy yelled. "Do they serve meals on this trip?"
"They didn't last year!" Mick yelled back.

8.
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.
However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm.
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer.
"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."

9.
A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to
broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed,
they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and smell aromatic
herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety
of lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.
"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the
teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries,
lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers
in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your Daddy and
Mommy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and
shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're arseholes!"

10.
The yuppie came home from work one day, sporting a new pair of very
expensive snakeskin boots. He'd been expecting to hear admiring comments
from his wife, but instead she didn't even appear to notice his new boots at all.
Somewhat pissed off, the yuppie waited until she got into bed that night, then
he marched into the bedroom - stark naked except for the new boots.
"It's about time you noticed what my dick's pointing at," he said, striking a pose.
The wife sat up, glanced down at the new boots, and remarked, "Too bad you didn't
buy a new hat."

11.
An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting in a
seedy bar enjoying a few beers.
The American grabbed his beer, knocked it back in one gulp,
then he threw the glass into the air and shot it with his
handgun. As he set the handgun on the bar, he told the
Canadian and the Australian that in the great U.S. of A, they
had so much money they never drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Australian drank his beer, threw the glass into the air
and shot the glass with the American's gun. As he was setting
the gun back on the bar he proclaimed that in Australia they
had so much sand that glass was cheap and he too never
drank out of the same glass twice.
Next the Canadian drank his beer, grabbed the gun off the bar,
and shot the American. As he was setting the gun back on the
bar, he told the Australian that in Canada we have so many
Americans you never have to drink with the same one twice.

12.
A teacher was asking her class what their fathers did. When
she asked little Johnny, he said, "My father's dead, Miss."
"Oh, I am sorry, Johnny. In that case, what did he do before
he died?"
"He went blue, held his chest and moaned aaaaarrrrrrggg, and collapsed."

13.
The new husband and his bride were in bed, when the husband
says, "Honey, anytime you wake up and want to have sex, you
don't have to say a word, just reach over and pull my dick a
couple of times,"
"And if I don't want sex?"
"Pull on it forty or fifty times," the husband said.

14.
The race-car driver picked up a girl after a race, went home with her and took
her to bed. He fell asleep only to be awakened suddenly when she smacked him
in the face.
"What's the matter! Didn't I satisfy you when we screwed?" he asked.
"It was after you fell asleep that got you into trouble," said the angry woman.
"In your sleep, you felt my tits and mumbled, 'What perfect headlights.'
Then you felt my thighs and murmured, 'what a smooth finish.'"
"What's wrong with that?" asked the driver.
"Nothing, but then you felt my pussy and yelled, 'who the hell left the
garage door open?'"

15.
Bill staggered home at 4am, drunk and smelling like sex, only to find his
wife waiting up for him.
"That’s it, Bill," she screamed. "I’ve had it with your sorry arse! I’m cutting
you off forever!"
"Fat chance," laughed Bill. "You don’t even know where I’m getting it from."

16.
Two blokes are walking down the street. One of them is notorious for
his prejudice against Italians. Yet when he sees an Italian organ grinder with
a monkey, he throws $20 into the monkey's hat. The friend is surprised. "But
people have been telling me for years how much you hated Italians, and here you
do that." To which the bloke replies, "Well, they're so cute when they're little."

17.
Joe walked in the door after work and announced his arrival
"I'm upstairs taking a douche," his wife called out.
"I thought I told you never to talk like that," Joe said.
"What do you want?" his wife replied. "Good grammar or good taste?"

18.
Bill joined the foreign legion, and was assigned to a fort, way out in the Sahara
desert, far from any town. During his orientation session, he asked the sergeant
what the legionnaires did when they had to relieve their urge.
"The desert provides, son," the sergeant said. "When you feel the need at night
go to the hut by the palm tree outside the fort. There's a hole in the side. Stick your
dick in the hole and you'll get relief."
Bill was very skeptical, but soon he was about to go out of his skull. He waited until
the sun descended, then ran out to the hut and stuck his dick in the hole. Sure enough,
a pair of warm lips surrounded his member and quickly brought him to ecstasy. Bill
suddenly had a new view of life in the legion. He visited the hut the next night and the
third. But on the fourth night, when he thrust his penis in, nothing happened. He rushed
back, found the sergeant and asked him what the hell was going on.
"Forgot to tell you," the sergeant said, "it's your night to sit in the hut."

19.
One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him
to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the
company doctor.
All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest dick
he'd ever seen. "Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?" the doc asked.
"Shit, no," Dave said. "I've got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes
have a problem finding it in the daytime."
"What about at night?" the doc asked.
"Nights are no problem," Dave said. 'cause there's two of us looking for it then."

20.
Her name was Virginia.
They called her virgin for short, but not for long.

21.
A woman complained to her vet that her mongrel would start
humping her every time he came into the house, "Is there anything
you can do?" she asked.
"Well," the dog Doc answered, "we could cut his balls off to cut
his sex drive down."
"Oh no," the woman replied, "that seems a bit rough. Couldn't you
just clip his nails and do something about his bad breath!"

22.
A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke
for his money. On their wedding night she joyfully jumps
into bed and he holds up five fingers.
"Oh darling!" she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?"
"No", says the old fellow, "it means that you can pick one out."

23.
"But, Holmes," Said Dr Watson, "if the murder was committed in the kitchen,
as you've deducted, how do you account for all the bloodstains on the
Louis XIV parlor chair?
The master sleuth replied, "Elementary, my good Watson… it's period furniture."

24.
This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at
the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a
slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific.
What's that you have on?"
The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment,
she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?"
"Well, I've got a hardon, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.

25.
When an Irishman couldn't get a dance his friend decided to tell him the truth.
'Look, it's the smell from your socks. Go home and change them and you'll
have no trouble.'
Later in the evening the Irishman complained that he still couldn't get a dance.
'Did you change your socks?'
'Of course I did,' said the Irishman, pulling the from his pocket.

26.
A man and his wife are fucking.
Fifteen minutes has passed, 30 minutes, then 45 minutes.
Sweat is pouring off both of them. The wife finally looks up
and says, "What's the matter, darling, can't you think of
anyone else, either?"

27.
Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. "You need fire insurance,
burglary insurance and flood insurance."
"The fire and theft and burglary I can understand," said the other, "but the flood
insurance? How do you start a flood?"

28.
A bitter rivalry for the sexual favors of a beautiful women had been going
on between the two mates for years.
One day an angel appeared before on of them and announced that he'd been
sent by God to teach the rivaling friends a lesson.
"I'll give you anything you ask for," the angel said, "but whatever you get, your
friend will get it, too, only twice as much. If you want wealth, you'll have it, but
your friend will be twice as wealthy as you. If you want a big house, he'll get one
that's twice as big."
The bloke thought for a moment and then grinned. "Okay," he said, "give me a
15 stone woman and half a marriage license!"

29.
"We'd like a room, please," the bloke said, nodding toward his misses. "We were
married this morning."
"Congratulations," the desk clerk said, "how about the bridal?"
"No thanks, just a room. I'll hold her by the ears until she gets the hang of it."
He answered.

30.
With his balls nearly on fire, a horny rat was tearing down the jungle path.
Spying a parrot up in a tree, he screeched to a halt and propositioned the bird.
No go. In growing desperation, the rat took off once more and shortly thereafter
noticed a monkey swinging through some vines up ahead. But the monkey, too,
turned him down cold. With his aching balls now nearly dragging on the ground,
the rat resumed his feverish search for something to put it to. At length he saw an
elephant browsing beside the trail. Racing up to her, he panted, "Hey, moma, want
to get it rough and hard?"
The elephant looked him over, sorta smiled, and replied, "What the hell. Hop on
and show me your best stuff." So the rat jumped up on her and started going at it.
Just as he was really hitting his stride, a coconut fell from the tree over head and
struck the elephant right between the eyes. "Ouch!" she yelled.
The rat paused in mid-stroke and said triumphantly, "Suffer, bitch! Suffer!"

31.
A bloke stuck his head in the doorway of the barbershop and asked the barber,
"How many people are waiting?"
"Five," the barber replied.
The bloke thanked him and left.
The next day the bloke was back, again asking the barber how many people
were waiting. The barber replied, "Six," and again the bloke thanked him and left.
This went on every day for two weeks. Finally getting pissed off about it, the barber
told his helper, "That damned guy comes by here every day, asks how many people
are waiting, and then just leaves. Next time, I want you to follow him and find out
where he goes.
The next day, the bloke poked his head in the barbershop and asked the usual
question. After the barber told him seven, the bloke thanked him enthusiastically
and left, with the barber's helper right on his tail.
The barber's helper returned a short time later, completely winded.
"Well? Well?" the barber demanded impatiently. "Where is that guy in such a hurry
to go that he can't wait in line?"
After catching his breath, the helper replied, "Your house."

32.
Starting the car for the long trip back into the city, Mick and Dave said their
final good-byes to their good mate, Gazza.
"Thanks for puttin' us up for the weekend, mate", said Mick. "The food
was great, the booze and dope were superb, and I really enjoyed fuckin'
your wife".
At the first petrol stop, Dave turned to Mick and said, "I hope you weren't
serious about enjoying fuckin' his wife!"
"No", Mick confessed, "I can't say that I enjoyed it, but I didn't want to
hurt Gazza's feelin's".

33.
An Irish electrician was called into the local prison to fix the electric chair.
After about 2 hours in there he came out and said "Blimey, I'm not touching
that thing, it's a fucking deathtrap!"

34.
There was an English, an American, and an Aussie. One day they were discussing
how easily they can get their missus' horny. So the Englishman says "All I have
to do is rub my missus' nipples and she lifts a foot off the bed".
The American laughs and says "Yeah, well all I have to do is slip the tongue in and
my missus lifts two feet off the bed".
By now the Aussie is pissin' himself laughin' and comes out with "Yeah, that's
nothin' either. All I do is wipe my cock on the curtain and my missus hits the roof!"

35.
Four nuns die in an automobile accident and find themselves in line
before St Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter asks the first nun, "Sister, have you ever sinned?" She
replies, "Yes, St. Peter. I once looked at a man."
"Alright, Sister," says St. Peter, "just step over to that font and
dab your eyes with the holy water. You may then enter the gates."

To the second nun, he asks the same question.
She replies, "Yes, St. Peter, I once touched a man."
He tells her to go the Holy Water font and wash her hands. At that
point, the third nun turns to the fourth and says, "Sister, would you
mind if I gargled before you douche?"

36.
The frightened young bride wanted to spend her wedding night at
her mother's house. That night, as her new husband began taking
his shirt off, the bride took one look and promptly went running to
her mother.
"He's got hair all over his chest," she cried. "What should I do?"
"Go back to your husband," her mother replied, "and do your wifely duty."
After she returned to the bedroom, her husband took his pants off. Again,
she went running to her mother. "He's got hair all over his legs," she whimpered.
"What should I do?"
"Go back and do your wifely duty," her mother said again.
Returning once more, she watched as her husband took off his shoes. Noticing
that one of his feet was half-amputated, off she went to mother. "He's only got
one and a half feet!" she wailed, "what should I do?"
"Just calm down and wait here, dear," her mother soothed. "Mother will take
over now."

37.
A Kiwi walks into a bar with one thong on.
The barman asks, 'Did ya lose a thong, mate?'
'Nah,' replies the Kiwi, 'I found one.'

38.
Three guys are debating who has the best memory.
The first guy says, "I can remember the first day of my
First Grade class."
The second guy says, "I can remember my first day at
Nursery School!"
Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing. I
can remember going to the drive in with my father, and
coming home with my mother."

39.
An Irishman had been missing for weeks. His wife told the police.
Next day the police arrived to say that her husband's body had been
found floating in the river." "Sure, that couldn't be him," she said,
"because he couldn't swim."

40.
Two Tasmanian kids, brother and sister, are going
for it in their bedroom.
"Gee, you're better than Dad!" the sister says to
her brother.
"I know," he replies. "That's what Mum keeps
telling me!"

41.
The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her room
at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her best suit had been
badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel's
valet service to pick it up for pressing.
Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door,
and there stood an elderly Chinaman, waiting.
Impressed by the fast service, the career woman exclaimed, "My, you come
lickety-split!"
"No, ma'am," replied the elderly Chinaman. "Come to get laundry."

42.
"I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf."
"Bullshit, watch this...Rover sit! Oh dear, you're right, I'll get
the shovel and clean it up!"

43.
Two five year old boys are standing at the potty to pee.
One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
"I've been circumcised." the other one says.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My Mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?"
"You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a year!"

44.
The Detective was grilling a suspect concerning his whereabouts at the
time of the vicious assault.
"So you say you were out walking your dog at 7.45pm on the evening
of April 19, do you? Did you or did you not stop along the way?"
"Damn," snapped the guy, "haven't you ever walked a fucking dog?"

45.
Doctor: "I'm afraid I have some good news and some bad news, Miss Hottwot."
Miss Hottwot: "Well, give me the good news first, Doc."
Doctor: "Your lab tests came back today, and your crabs are all gone."
Miss Hottwot: Gee, that's great! But what's the bad news?"
Doctor: "We don't know what killed them."

46.
A bloke goes into a restaurant and orders a bowl of soup,
and the Scottish waiter brings a bowl out and puts it in front
of the bloke. He looks at it and says to the waiter, "there's
a fly in my soup!"
The Scottish waiter looks in the bowl and pulls the half drowned
fly out and says "spit it out, spit it out!"

47.
A Vacuum cleaner salesman walks into a lady's house and without a
word he starts to empty a huge bag of horse shit onto the floor.
The lady screams in horror and begs him not to do that. The salesman
looks at her and says, "Look lady, what this vacuum cleaner won't pick
up, I'll eat!" The lady looks at him with a grin and replies, "Do you like
sauce on your shit?" We haven't got the power on!"

48.
The judge in a criminal case in Dublin was shocked when the accused pleaded
guilty to the charge but was acquitted by the jury.
"How did you arrive at that verdict?" he asked the foreman of the jury.
"Well, Your Honour," was the reply, "everybody except you knows him to
be the biggest liar in Ireland."

49.
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.
After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to
walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said:
"Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?"
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
"Wait, ladies," cried the professor. "The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!"

50.
Mrs. Castles opened the front door one morning and found two large dogs
playing mummy and daddy on her front lawn. She was horrified. She threw
a bucket of cold water over them, having heard that this puts an end to such
games. but this did not work. She then screamed at them, threw a brick at
them, hit them with a broom and generally made such a fuss that the neighbors
came outside to watch. Mrs. Castles was embarrassed, and how! She rushed
inside and, although it was only six am, she phoned the local vet and explained
what was going on out her on her lawn.
"Oh, that's easy" said the vet. "Go out and tell the male he's wanted on the phone."
"Will that work? asked Mrs. Castles.
"Yes of course - it stopped me only a few seconds ago!"

51.
A skinhead and his girlfriend were walking down Main Street when she
spotted a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry store window. "wow, I'd sure
love to have that!" she said.
"No problem, baby," the skinhead said, throwing a brick through the glass
and grabbing the ring.
A few blocks later, his girlfriend was admiring a black leather jacket in another
shop window. "what I'd give to own that!" she said.
"Sure thing, darling," the skinhead said, throwing another brick through the
window and snatching the coat.
Finally, turning for home, they pass a Mercedes car dealership. "Boy, I'd do
anything for one of those!" she said to her boyfriend.
"Fuck me dead, darling." the skinhead moaned. "Do you think I'm made of
bricks or something!"

52.
Two Irishman, Pat and Mick had been on the piss. When they woke up in
the morning the blinds were drawn. 'Is it day or night' asked Pat.
'I'll go and have a look,' said Mick. So he lifted the blind and looked out.
'Well,' said Pat, 'is it day or night?'
'I can't remember,' Said Mick.

53.
This bloke walks into a clock shop, walks up to the girl at the
counter, undoes his fly and puts his cock on the counter.
The girl behind the counter says, "Excuse me sir, this is a clock
shop, not a cock shop!"
So the bloke says, "So put two hands and a face on it!"

54.
Mickey Mouse murdered Minnie Mouse after he discovered she was
having an affair with another Walt Disney character. In court, the judge
asked Mickey's Barrister, "Why did he do it?
"Mickey explained to me that she was insane". replied the Barrister.
"Insane!" exclaimed Mickey, "I said she was fucking Goofy!"

55.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a donkey sitting at the bar. The
donkey's crying and in front of the donkey are a pot of money and a sign.
The sign says, "If you can make this donkey laugh then you get
the money in the pot."
The man asks the bartender if he can take the donkey outside. The
bartender says, "You can take that donkey anywhere you want as long as
you can get him to laugh."
The man takes the donkey outside and after a few minutes brings the
donkey back. The donkey is laughing uncontrollably. The man takes the
money and leaves.
A few days later the man returns to the bar and the donkey is still
sitting at the bar laughing. There is another pot of money and a new
sign that says, "If you can make this donkey stop laughing you can
have the money in the pot."
The man once again takes the donkey outside and in a few minutes they
return. The donkey is sobbing. The man takes the money and as he
starts to leave the bartender asks the man how he got the donkey to
laugh and then to cry.
The man replies, "I told the donkey that I had a bigger dick than he
did and that made him laugh. To make him cry I showed him that I was
telling the truth."

56.
A little boy was sitting on the curb, wearing a pirate hat and an eye patch
and playing with a wooden sword.
A little old lady, walking by, asked him what he was supposed to be.
"A pirate," He said.
"A pirate, huh? And where are your buccaneers, sonny?" she asked.
"Under my buckin' hat," the kid replied.

57.
A bloke walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment.
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the doctor."
"It's rather embarrassing," the bloke stammered. "You see, I have a very large
and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today," the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can
squeeze you in."

58.
Little Harry was busy pushing his billycart to the top of this really
big hill. He was pushing with all his strength while he swore and
cursed at the top of his voice.
About halfway up, a priest noticed Harry swearing.
"Don't swear little boy," said the priest. "God is everywhere and
he will hear you."
Little Harry turned to the priest and said, "Oh yeah? is he standing
next to you?"
"Yes, he sure is" replied the priest, "God is everywhere."
"So he's in my billycart?" Harry asked with a grin.
"Yes, he sure is" said the priest.
"Well," Little harry said. "Tell the lazy old fucker to get out and help push!"

59.
Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area
around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything."
"Well," Barry said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?"
"No," the girl replied.
"Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?"
"N-n-no," the girl replied.
"You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lotta fun if you're on the
level about this."

60.
Paddy Murphy had just returned to Ireland from a holiday in Australia.
His mate asked him what it was like.
"Australia's a great place!" Paddy replied. "First they take you home
and fill you so full of piss you can't stand up. Then, to top it off, they
let you fuck their women whenever you want."
"Is that right?" said his mate very impressed. "I always heard Australians
were real pricks."
"Well," said Paddy, "Only the white ones!"

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